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20 Sep 2017

September Newsletter 2017

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This Months President’s Report: – 

Hi Everyone,

Another month has gone by & we are getting closer to our rally.  We had a good turn out for Glo’s run. Thanks to all those who helped with the food.  The weather was nice not to hot or cold a we bit gusty in places.

The evenings are getting longer and it’s starting to warm up during the day so rides can get longer before it gets to cold.

–  Shayne


Club News: –

Well I hope you all enjoyed Glo’s memorial poker run. I hear the pace was rather brisk in places, which makes me wish I could have participated on the ride.

The after match function was excellent, with the pumpkin soup proving popular.  The band was appreciated and the suggestion was made they could be utilized in future at our next rally.

Quite a number of our members slipped away far too early but those who stuck it out enjoyed plenty of dancing with Liz B and Tanya leading the way.  April Nelly and her work mates livened the place up, adding to variety on the dance floor. Gumboots would have been in his element.

At mid night the band packed up and suddenly I was the last Ttagy there. A patrol of the main street found Temuka devoid of night life.

Club ride and meeting 17 th September, yes this weekend.  The ride will be leaving from The Empire Hotel 12 a m Sunday riding to Kimbell Hotel.

–  Kerry


This Months Joke’s: – 

Business was terrible and not picking up.  I had to fire somebody, and I narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.

It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.

Rather than flip a coin, I decided I would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night.  She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. I approached her and said, “Debra, I’ve never done this before but I have to either lay you or Jack off.”

“Could you jack off for now?” she says. “I feel like shit. If you can wait, I’ll do you at lunchtime.”
…… I had to let Jack go.

Bosses have to make the tough decisions!!


This Months Photo’s: 

  •  ” GLO’s  Memorial – Poker Run “

  Thanks to Janet for the collage of photo’s –


   You can download the full September newsletter as a PDF by clicking on the link below: –

TTAG Newsletter September 2017

8 Aug 2017

August Newsletter 2017

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This Months President’s Report: – 

Hi Everyone,

Hope everyone got over all the rain we had in the last couple of weeks.  Have noticed it’s a bit lighter in the evening now and its a wee bit warmer.  Most of the rally stuff has been done only a few things left to do.  I Welcome, Lyn Stringer to the club.

Our next meeting is on the 20th of August at the Waihao Forks Hotel.  Leaving the caltex garage at the creek, South end of Timaru at midday.

–  Shayne


Club News: –

Progress has been made on Glo’s rememberance poker run on the 9th of September.

Meet at the Empire Hotel 11.30 a.m., ride leave from there at 12.00 a.m.  Arriving back at the Empire later that afternoon where hot food will be on offer and live music for the after match function.

Check out our TTag club website, ” Ttag.org.nz ”  Tash is doing a great job of keeping it up to date. Give her some feed back and any good photo’s you might take at our events.

Also check out our TTag facebook page.

Speaking of input, I realize we don’t do a lot of riding at this time of year, but if you do I want stories for the newsletter, a half to one page would be good.

The organizing of our Magpie Madness Rally is progressing well, with most things finalized thanks to Mary, Tash in particular.

If you are interested in going to the Mt Cook Rally on the 7th of October talk to Rowdy he’s a regular knows all the detail on accomodation etc.

The club wishes Liz Watson a successful operation and a speedy recovery.

–  Kerry


This Months Joke’s: – 


  • How many men does it take to open a beer?
  • None. It should be opened when she brings it.


  • Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
  • Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.    


  • How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
  • When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me….


  • How do you fix a woman’s watch?
  • You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.


  • Why do men die before their wives?
  • They want to.



This Months Photo: –

camp mother

” For our new members this was Gloria Joyce, Glo or Camp Mother “



 ” Blast from the past, how long ago was this taken


   You can download the full May newsletter as a PDF by clicking on the link below: –

TTAG Newsletter August 2017

11 Jul 2017

July Newsletter 2017

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This Months President’s Report: – 

Hi fellow TTAG members,

Hope you are enjoying the weather we are having.  It was a good turnout for our mid-winter.  A big thanks to all that helped with the set-up and on Sunday morning packing up.  Also those who cooked dinner and breakfast for us.  It was also good to see some of the Bronze turned up to enjoy the evening with us.

We had a small turnout for our last club meeting the other weekend.  It must have been the rain overnight that stopped everyone from coming out as the weather was a bit chilly but nice for the short ride.

As you would have seen we have set the dates for our rally, 24th-26th November.

–  Shayne


Club News: –

Our club will be holding a remembrance poker run, for Gloria Joyce – ” Camp Mother “, an original member of our club who passed away last year.  Mark your calendar, this will held on Saturday the 9th of September. Meet at the Empire Hotel 11.30 a.m.  The ride leaves from there at 12.00 a.m,  Arriving back at the Empire later that afternoon where hot food will be on offer.

Just to let you know Ant’s will be racing at Level Raceway tomorrow.  Racing starts mid morning and he would be pleased to see any club members there to support him.  Ant’s really appreciates the clubs support and backing, without you he wouldn’t be racing.

Tash has produced our 2017 Rally flyer and you can see it on our TTAG website and on our facebook site.

Our monthly ride will be held on the 23rd of July, leaving from the Empire Hotel !2.00 a.m.  Destination, ” The Hinds Tavern “ and I dare say we won’t be going straight up the main road,  for all you’s who have got your Rego on hold over the Winter.

–  Kerry


Items For SALE: –

  • 2 piece Leathers, jacket and pants, size XL – $400.  Belong to an ex-racer so item have a couple of minor scuffs.

        –  Contact Ant’s if interested  – 0274394660


This Months Joke’s: – 

  • After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.  That’s when he                                                                                                                                                                                             realized he had made it home safely.


  • A teenage boy asks his Granny: – “Have you seen my pills? They were labelled LSD?”,  Granny replies: –                                                                                                                                                                                                                     “The hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen?”.


  • Wife gets naked and asks hubby, “What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?”,  Hubby looks her up and                                                                                                                                                                                            down and replies: – “Your sense of humor!”.


  • A chap’s wife is back on the warpath again.  She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all he did was suggest                                                                                                                                                                                                 they should hold auditions for her part.


  • I’ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.


  • I woke up this morning at 9:30, and could sense something was wrong.  I got downstairs and found the wife face-down                                                                                                                                                                                                 on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked.  I didn’t know what to do.  Then I remembered – McDonald’s                                                                                                                                                                                                             serves breakfast all day.


  • My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door.  She screamed: – “I wish you a slow and painful death,                                                                                                                                                                                                 you bastard!” I replied: – “Oh, so now you want me to stay???”


This Months Photo: –

Those who attended our mid winter party will have seen our new club trailer, but for those who haven’t  please see the photo below . . . . .


” TTAG – New Club Trailer “


TTAG Mid-Winter BBQ Thank-you Letter from Bronze: – 

After a busy Saturday organizing my Mothers 95th birthday at Margret Wilson,  I sneaked away and after changing into warmer clothes was picked up by Julia Harper in her little yellow car.  Julia not only took us all there but she was also our sober driver, so a big thanks Julia you are a treasurer.  We then picked up Rob and Morris and proceeded to the Winchester Domain. I kept asking were we meant to bring food or drinks but was told it was all provided.

The occasion was the Mid-Winter get together with TTAG and BRONZ – Timaru organized by TTAG. After finding the right gate to enter said domain we were greeted by a roaring drum fire.

We were soon welcomed into the group and I recognized a few faces from the Coal Miners Rally in Kaitangita earlier this year also spotted Carol & co who had come earlier.  I soon had my hand wrapped around a cold can of Bourbon and Coke of which I consumed a few of as the night progressed.

The TTAG crew are a really friendly bunch and people who were strangers were soon chatting to the BRONZ members as was I.  Many topics were discussed round the warm fire and on seats provided for us older riders. As usual with groups such as ours, motorcycles being the main topic of conversation.

We were then called into the hall for supper and what a supper.

Pork with apple sauce, sausage casserole, mixed veg, crackling, gravy, mashed potatoes and Chinese styled dishes. I’ve probably forgotten some of the fare as there was so much on offer. Top marks to all those in the kitchen. Excellent effort.

I was entertained while eating my meal by Janet and Denise and also had the pleasure of meeting and chatting to Turtle who was able to fill me in on the Clubs history and of the building we were having our meal in.

Cake followed and I stayed in the hall talking to TTAG members till Morris informed me we were calling it a night and heading back to Timaru.

I would like to thank TTAG on behalf of BRONZ Timaru for a wonderful winter Solstice celebration and the warm welcome you extended to us.

Keep the shiny side up,


– Badger

8 Jun 2017

June Newsletter 2017

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This Months President’s Report: – 

Hi fellow members,

Hope everyone is having a good start to winter.  I heard the staging post was a good couple of days and you all enjoyed it all especially the newer members that hadn’t been before.  I would like to thank Mary for all the work she has done in her role of Treasurer and am sure she will help Liz if needed, and thank you to Tash for updating the web site.  Our rally dates have been put on the web site.

Our mid-winter is coming up on the 17th of June. It will be good to see everyone there.  And to those who went to the brass hope you all had a good ride there and back, looking out the window while writing this it might be a wet trip home.

Next club meeting is on the 25th at Albury tavern leaving the empire at 12:00 a.m.

–  Shayne


Club News: –

 As mentioned by Shayne our Magpie Madness Rally will be held on the 24th -26th of November, mark your calendars now, as we need you all to be there.

For those of you who like to take a winter ride and would like company, let me know in advance so as I can circulate it out to the membership. To the sensable ones stay by the fire.

The Mid Winter party kicks off at 4.00 p.m.  Booze supplied to members, guests should bring their own.  Camp on site or in the old school room.  Dress warmly as this is mostly an outdoor party around the bonfire, unless it’s pissing down.

–  Kerry


This Months Joke: – 

An elderly couple were at home watching TV.  Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between fishing and porn channel.  Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said –  ” for heaven’s sake Phil, leave it on the porn channel you know how to fish! “


This Months Photo’s: –

” Some of the crew enjoying the Staging Post run “

Stage Post Newlet 1

Stage Post Newlet 2


      You can download the full May newsletter as a PDF by clicking on the link below: –

TTAG Newsletter June 2017

22 May 2017

April Newsletter 2017

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Monthly Club President’s Report: – 

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all had a good month. March was a busy :me with all the rally’s going on. Now that Daylight saving has finished its getting dark when coming home from work.

All those who went to Jocks new rally had a good time . The punters were entertained by a couple of members going around on the unicycle with skimpy clothing on.

Don’t forget our AMG is coming up soon. So if you want to go on the commttiee put your hand up. The ride of respect is coming up also on the 23rd of April. Hope the weather gets better for the next few months before it gets too much colder. So if you are out riding have fun.

–  Shayne



–  RIDE OF RESPECT . . . . .  is on the 23rd of April.  Start 10am from Timaru RSA,  Afters 2pm at Tash’s – BYO Salad,            Beers and Meat will be provided by TTAG.  Tash needs a hand to put up marque on Sat 22nd, please and pulled down the    next day ( 0273846776 )

 MAY – TTAG  Club AGM . . . . . will be 7th May @ 1.00 pm at the Empire Hotel, Temuka.

 The Staging Post . . . . . run will be 19th to 21st of May.  This is a TTAG club annual event we hold a little bit North of               Cheviot.

 Mid Winter Christmas Party . . . . . 17th of June


1st Coal Miner`s Rally: –

March Thursday morning lovely liquid sun. I Road into Timaru and waited for Col to arrive. Wets on and of we set. Had a stop at Palmerston, then through Dunedin. Col, gave some drivers a good laugh as he’s rubbing his arse when we were stopped at the lights. Another stop in Milton for Col`s precious arse. Finally at Kai.

Jock was busy working on roster’s lol… bloody computers and 1010 other things. The 3 of us went to Balclutha to get supplies, when we got back Tash and Dippy had arrived, followed by Mike and Freddie. So we were all of to put up marquee’s down at the Rally Site. A few laughs and frustrations trying to put these things up. Back to the Pub to cook some tea then over to Jock`s for refreshment. Mary and Jim arrived to join in. Some of the locals turned up too, Great laughs were had by all.

Friday up early. Tash and I went to the site to put up more tents. Got a text to say `brekkie ready`. On way out the gate my bike decided to have a lie down. I had to get some help to fix a couple of things. (she is in pieces at the moment, while waiting for parts.) Getting things sorted at the rally. The Cops are great by Saturday night, one was calling me `Pet. 1st gate sale was about 12pm. As at any Rally you have so much fun on the gate and the bar. We had some of the young rugby guys come and work with us later in the evening. It was fun winding them up.

Saturday, more fun, people coming and going. Tash, Col and Myself got dressed up to do the Unicycle for 2pm, but the joke was on us when we rocked up and told it was happening at 4pm. So we did the gate and that made quite a few people smile as they came in. We finally got to do the Unicycle. What a lot of fun that was. It was my first time. I nearly went into the river, I pulled the kill switch but I was still moving. Jock yelled..Pull the Clutch. Saved. Quick turn around and of again. After removal of cow poo, back to work, and more fun. We sent the Rugby Boys to watch the Tat and Wet Tee Shirt. Great bands both night.

Sunday we pulled the Rally Site down. We were meant to be staying Sunday night but as the weather was rather wet, we left in the afternoon. I had to stop and wait for Col To catch up, a few time also change sock and gloves it was so wet. It was good to get home to the dry.

Thank you our industrious leader Jock for a fantastic weekend Looking forward to next years Rally.

–  Liz B.


Kelly’s Adventures: – 

Hey all,

So the 2017 half of the motocross season has started up, and myself and dad are in full swing. So the most exci:ng news is that we bought myself a new bike…. A CRF250X, 2011 model, from a farmer down Oamaru way, which I have raced once so far and have been training on. January consisted of a bit of training on the new bike, and a few runs up to the Ashburton track to get used to it. Club days started up in February due to January being full of summer actvites and the high chance of the dust taking over.

February club day was held out the back of Waimate at Pankhurst property, I shat my pants…. Not literally but very figura:vely! I had not ridden the Kx 85 in just over a month, and when I got on it, it was :ny… Anyway the track was over a hill and very very steep. I didn’t make it up the hill in prac:se and knew it just wasn’t my day. The day ended up being called off early, due to the amount of dust, even though the club did their best to keep the dust down with the water tanker.

March consisted of South Island and Aoraki Secondary Schools Championship, held out in a new paddock at Colesys down at Otaio, on the 18 th .  I raced the 250 with the girls and came away with 6 th in the South Island in the ladies 12-19yrs class, I also received 2nd in the Aoraki region (beaten by my best mate).  March club day was held the next day (19 th ) on the same track, and unfortunately no riders stayed round due to the Christchurch TT series on the same day. I raced the 85 to get points, and regret not double classing and racing the 250 also, but I was buggered from SISS.  April the 2 ⁿdnd rolled round quick enough after that and it was time for beach racing.

For my second race in sand I was pretty chuffed with how I went, completing practise and 2 races on the 85 to be able to get points. Practise was raced like usual with the Juniors all together with lots of thrills and spills as everyone was reminded how tough and demanding sand racing was. I had completed a full prac:se lap without falling off and passed those who ate shit, but ended up ea:ng shit myself in my second lap falling off a good 4+ :mes. Race 1 I don’t even remember, but it was shit . . . . . No kidding, I was ready to pack up but soldiered on knowing that I only had to go out and look at the track so I could get my points in race 2, but managed to stay on the bike with only a couple of falls. Points race, race 2, I was getting in the swing of things . . . . . .  I may have been riding just faster than walking pace but I made a few passes due to not falling off and passing those who needed help restarting their bikes when they came off.  I had a lot of fun shouting out to the guys on the side-lines cheering me on even though it wasn’t like our usual club day.

May is fast approaching and so is the TTAG AGM.  I was hoping to jump on the back of the BMW with dad for the ride and come and say a few words . . . . . but a flat track race day in Ashburton has just cropped up . . . . . and I think for that reason the BMW can wait just a little bit longer to be ridden.  So while you guys will be sitting through a slightly important meeting, me and dad will be racing around a TT track having a ton of fun and hopefully some good results.   Cheers,

– Kelly – 111 (04/04/2017)


kelly1                kelly2


” Kelly in Action “



The sun shone from a clear blue sky. Sunday mornings best deal in town was at Robbie’s car park.  Riders from all over on bikes, side chair, trike and Can Am all chatted in the relaxed atmosphere.  TTAG was well represented (and thanked) with Barry on a bike I hadn’t seen at March and Bernie on his fresh rebuild.  Jacob called us to Riders Brief and Prayer.

We then had a relaxed ride to Pleasant Point, ton plus ten to Cave then carved corners to Fairlie. Lunch at the Bakehouse was excellent as usual, with us doing takeaways – stuffed down the front of the jacket. Quick trip over the Gorge had us pick up a Buell with red bands on the foot pegs till Cannington , then a black sports something obeying the speed limit. Great ride, good company.

Thanks BRONZ.

–  Malx.


” Gathering for the BRONZ Toy Run “



Most of our transport and toys rely on a battery to start them and keep them going. Paul and Neil at Timaru Battery Service have taken care of the Clubs and my battery needs – forever.

They provide new batteries for our motors and spares for our Rally as well as free advice. They both ride bikes. Now to the business end of the deal – keeping our volts available anytime!

For a bike or car used intermittently: one weekend charging per month is the formula. The chargers are pretty much foolproof and safe, no chance of a cellphone style meltdown in the garage on the top up weekend. Battery’s live lots longer if kept fully charged, oh, and your motor will be good to go.

–  Malx.


Newsletter Photo’s: – 

magpie 2016             rock n Hop

                   ” Magpie Madness 2016 ”                                                                                         ” Rock n Hop 2017 “

at Work

 ” Girl @ Work – Maintaining Ducati “


   You can download the full April newsletter as a PDF by clicking on the link below: –

TTAG Newsletter April 2017

22 May 2017

May Newsletter 2017

NEws Letter                                                                 ttag logo color


This Months President’s Report: – 


Another AGM has gone by.  It was good to see so many turn up for it.  I would like to thank everyone for another year as your President.  I hope you all enjoyed Rick’s talk about what we have to do and the councils side of applying for the alcohol license. Don’t forget the staging post coming up and our mid-winter party.

–  Shayne


Sadly I wrote out a jolly fine news letter then shagged up when I attempted to save it, whilst waiting for Shayne’s Presidential report. Mean while I had burned all my notes so some of this news letter maybe hit and miss. Lucky for me most of you were at the AGM and will know more than I do.

Well as you can see from Shayne’s report he has been returned as president for another year.

–   Vice President; Tash Port.

–   Treasurer; Liz Buckingham.

–   Secretary; Malx Penty.

–   Sherif; Hilton Rathbone,

–   Deputies; Billy Michelle

–   News Letter editor; Kerry O’Rourke.

–   Road Captains; Ants Paisley, Charlie & ABBO

–   Road Runner; Bernie Guile.

We have a very strong committee with a goodly flush of new young blood. The Staging Post 19th to 21st May, a very popular annual event. !9 klms North of Cheviot cabins and Dormatories available. Bernie will be taking the support vehicle with club booze. Several members will be riding up on the Friday and know doubt some will be going up on Saturday, Liz Buckingham for one.

Bernie the road runner will be able to tell you what time the group are leaving.

The Brass Monkey 2nd to 4th June, no doubt a group of our members will be braving the cold. If you are let the road runner know so he can put a group together. Much better to ride with your buddies.

Club ride to Albury Tavern 25th of June, leaving from Empire Hotel 12.00 am.

You may remember a band called “Libranz”who performed at one of our rallies. Well they have contacted us through facebook and wish to play again for us. They now perform under the name of “ Devils Handbrake” They will be performing at the Pleasant Point Hotel July the 1st and have invited us to come along and check them out. Some of you may wish to make a night of it then crash at my place.

Mean time rego on hold and bikes on the trickle charger,

–  Kerry


This Months Joke: – 

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It’s after midnight. While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness, because the man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife, naked as a jay bird, with a man, totally nude also. The husband puts a gun to the naked man’s head.

The wife shouts, “WAIT…Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited all that money.

–   HE paid for that Porsche I gave you.

–   HE paid for your new 25 ft. Ranger Fishing Boat.

–   HE paid for your Football season tickets.

–   HE paid for our house at the lake.

–   HE paid for your Golf Trip to St Andrews and your new 4 x 4.

–   HE paid for our country club membership and he even pays the monthly dues.

And because of HIM, I can put an extra $2,000 in our checking account each month!”

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the cabby and says, ‘What would YOU do’?

The cabby thought for a moment and replied, ‘I’d cover him with that blanket, before he catches a cold.’


This Months Photo: – 

Blast from the past

A Blast from the Past: – ” The Staging Post several years ago”


      You can download the full May newsletter as a PDF by clicking on the link below: –

TTAG Newsletter May 2017

14 Aug 2016

August Newsletter 2016

August 2016

Hi Everyone
It was good to see a good numbers turn up to the July club meeting. It was a nice we ride to
Aubrey even through it was a bit windy in places but it was fun. The meeting went well with
some lively debate on some topics . Hope everyone has wrapped up warm this week as it is
a bit cold and some snow falling. I hear Tarsh has a new bike now so a fine might be in order
for her (sorry Tarsh ) The rally is getting closer , I see facebook is starting to fill up with
questions about it, so if you are out an about an are asked if it is on the answer is of course
it is . As you were with the three hour shifts at the rally mentioned in the last news letter, now
back to 2 hour shifts. Rowdy found it aukward to work out. For your information our rally
notice and dates on facebook had 5,366 views last time I looked, that a hell of a lot of free advertising.
A big thanks to Jock who has offered to sponsor our wet tee shirt and wet jock
competitions. Cheers Jock.
Whats coming up; The BRONZ Timaru annual Globe Trotter rally/ trial 1 st and 2 nd October.
For those who havn’t participated in this event, we meet in the loop road at the bay where
you are given a list of clues and directions, best taped to your petrol tank. As you do the
stages at legal road speeds there are points for arriving closest to the prescribed time.
Getting lost, going to fast or to slow will see you out of the prize list. There is a mistery
overnight destination, different each year, where they party up. There is a teams event and
TTAG feature regularly in the prizes and trophies.
The MATES Rally, Gore 18 th To 20 th October. A good ride with a couple of options of how to
get there and back. Our club ride this month Sunday the 21 st Meet at the Empire Hotel,
Temuka at 12.oo am. We will ride the long way to the Cosmepolitan Club, back roads for
those not registered. Browne Street, Timaru. Near the warehouse where everyone gets
a bargain. Rowdy will be doing his best to sort the roster at this meeting, or at least find
out which jobs you would prefer. { no we can’t all be wet tee shirt judges.}
8 Aug 2016

July Newsletter 2016

July 2016 Edition
Hi everyone
Hope you are staying warm. It was good to see all that turned up at the mid-winter and
those who missed it , It was a good night. Our guests and prespective members had a good
night. Thank you to those who turned up early to help with the setting up and the clean up
on sunday. The planning of our rally is coming along nicely everything is falling into place.
And remember to ride safe.
You will all be pleased to know planning for our Rally is going extremely well, your
committee is on fire.
We have trimmed the unfinancial from our mailing lists and the club now has 48 members.
This raised some concerns about how many able bodied members do we need to run our
rally. With this in mind we are going to trial 3 hour shifts this year. It always amazes me
when members turn up for their shift 20 minutes late and sometimes not at all. How hard
can it be to write your duty times down on a pocket card and be on time or early for your
We will be having a club ride on the 24 th July leaving from the Empire Hotel 12.00 am
heading for the Albury Tavern.
Hi all,
As you probably all figured I hadn’t really prepared for what I was going to say at the
Mid-Winter Party but hey you guys got the gist of it, hahah!! I was hoping Ants was
going to be there and after he had said his bit I would have just followed on…. Anyway I had
a good first season, well end of really. After missing about 3 races at the start of the season,
then slowly learning to ride and having a month off due to injury, I have come quite a way.
Oh, and the new bike to come to grips with. Last club day was freezing and quite wet, along
with off camber corners (my fav… not) and a lot of hills (mountains!). I didn’t quite complete
a lap and my confidence was quite low so I pulled out and warmed up instead, leaving Dad
to fight the cold.As you all probably heard at the Mid-Winter Party, Dad has got yet
another new bike (3rd race bike), and had a pretty successful day and was nothing but smiles
all round. He had a few offs and I don’t think he could be bothered cleaning the demo bike
to give back so just bought it anyway…..We had the SCMCC prize giving on the 24 th (June)
and a good social gathering with everyone in the Club. I didn’t receive anything; neither did Dad,
but I have my sights set on a podium finish this season (2016/17) hopefully! I gained 30 points
over the season getting 15 in each points race I raced in. I plan to (hopefully) get points at every
club day this season as I am finally happy with the bike and have the key techniques under my belt.
  • Dad and I recently went for a ride out at the Backflips Dirtfarm (Pleasant Point) for a
    second time and we were both surprised at how well we rode on the track. The track
    was still in good shape from the weekend before when it had been prepped. I had one fall,
    but taught myself how to jump finally!! (Dads not too good with the moto advice just now!).
    There were a few others out riding too so we had a bit of competition, and a really good
    training day together.
    In September I have South Island Secondary Schools and also Club Champs sometime
    soon (August I think?) that I look forward to, but in the meantime its club days and long
    training sessions. Cheers for all your support, it is very much appreciated Kelly Penty, 111
    (You may notice the change of race number – I was 112 because 111 was not available
    last season, but I’ve got it now – For Keeps!)“I may not be winning but I do know how
    to stuff up your lines so you don’t either”
    Kelly gave her verbal report at the Mid Winter Party. “Well done Kelly”.
  • Last of the summer wine, wheres the other bloke
    .Obviously some good advice here – about as successful as any other I have heard.
    If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have
    £49.00 today.
    If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance company one year ago, you
    would have £33.00 today.
    If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers five years ago, you would
    have nothing today.
    If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock three years ago, you would
    have nothing today.
    But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all the beer, then
    taken the aluminium cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received £214.00.
    Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.
    A recent study found that the average kiwi walks about 900 miles a year.
    Another study found that kiwidrink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That
    means that, on average, kiwis get about 41 miles to the gallon!
    Makes you proud to be a kiwi!
6 Oct 2015

September Newsletter 2015

magpie mail


Another little yarn to start things off

Long To Live

This biker lady has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.

Seeing god she asked “Is my time up?” God said “No you have 43 years 2 months and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the women decided to stay in hospital and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, new roads to ride, she figured she might as well look even nicer.

After her last operation, she was released from hospital. While riding her motorcycle home, she was run into by a delivery truck and killed. Arriving at the pearly gates in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40+ years? How come you didn’t pull me out of the path of that fricken truck?”

God replied, “I didn’t recognise you.”

Hi Everyone

We had a good turnout for the wood chop but couldn’t do much as there was a horse event on and they didn’t want chain saws going, so we did the usual thing, had a BBQ lunch and a couple of drinks. The Meeting on the Sunday at Forks Hotel was well attended, was a nice ride down there first time my bike been out since May. Our rally is getting closer and everything is under control for it. It was good to see Maxine at the meeting and  we all hope your leg is getting better and you are back on your bike soon.

Ride safe and have fun

Shayne S.    TTAG


Shayne and Vickie`s USA Trip.

Finally after 20 odd hours of traveling we finally made it to DC at 4.15 in the morning. So hot, even at that time of the day!! After a few hours of sleep we had a wee walk around and found a nice Irish pub to have a cold beer and some much needed food! Just chilled for the rest of the day. Sunday we did a bus tour of DC. Super-hot once again. Monday arrived and time to get the bike. Slight problem with the GPS…kept turning off!  Not ideal on those roads. Back to Eagle Rider and they fitted a new one and then we were off!!! First day was just a short ride. Took a while to get used to the roads and bike. GPS took us a few wrong turns but we finally got it sorted on the 3rd day. First ride we did was The Skyline Drive. Amazing views. Met some fellow bikers while on a drink break. All very friendly. 4th day we did the Dragons Tail. Took a while to find our way there. Met a real live hillbilly while stopping for directions. He said he had trouble understanding us!!!  Right back at ya we thought!  Dragon’s tail was pretty awesome. Passed some guys who had gone over the edge. Good luck getting their bikes back. On the eighth day we headed for New Orleans. Tried to avoid the freeways. Found a road with bumps just about the whole way. Awesome views though so made up for the crappy roads. We had 2 nights in New

Orleans. We did a cruise down the Mississippi on a paddle boat. Went to Bourbon Street. There was a street called Frenchmen Street just 5 minutes from our hotel which is supposed to be better than Bourbon Street so we went there. Lots of jazz and bars. After New Orleans we made our way to Memphis.

Just had to do Graceland. Not as big as we thought and very 70s of course!!

But can now cross that off the bucket list. Very hot down south. And so muggy.

Did lots of swimming along the way. Slowly made our way back to DC on the 2nd of July. Was very lucky with the weather. Only got caught in one thunderstorm but it was a good one. Poured down. And a few showers on our last day but apart from that it was the high 30s for the whole 2 1/2 weeks we were on the bike. Would totally recommend it. Everyone we met was super friendly and loved our accents!!!!  Now to save for the next one!

6 Oct 2015

August Newsletter 2015

magpie mail


Just for you Harley owners.

God & Arthur Davidson

The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur,”Since you’ve been such a good man and your Motorcycles have changed the world,your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.”
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
Arthur then asked God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of women?
“God said, “Ah, yes. ”
“Well, ” said Arthur, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention.”
God was somewhat taken back, and when He asked what the flaws might be, Arthur Davidson produced a list for Him to read.

1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust and finally,
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous.

“Hmmmm, you may have some good points there and it may be true that My invention is flawed… ” God said to Arthur.
“But the last time that I checked, more men are riding My invention than yours.”

Just for you Dale



Hope you all had a good winter, Hope it wasn’t too cold for everyone sadly Vickie and I missed most of it but we did suffer in the heat anywhere between 26 and 42 degrees. It looks like Swords run was a great success sadly we missed it. Would like to thank Phil and Michele for having the mid-winter at their place. Rally season is coming up fast so everyone will have to start checking their stuff is ready and replace it if needed. Looks like Kerry is having a great time over in the USA. He should have some good stories to tell when he gets back. Hope to catch up with everyone in next couple of months.

Thanks Shayne

Dates to remember

Wood Chop 22nd August 2015 At Winchester Show Grounds Start  12.30

Club Run 23rd August 2015 Leaving The Empire Hotel 12.00pm Heading to The Waihao Forks Hotel, Waimate.

Mt Cook Rally 17th and 18th October 2015